White Dolphin

Strain/Brand: White Dolphin, The Dolphins

Origin: Indica-Sativa

Impression: White crystals everywhere, light-colored hairs, light green leaves. Excellent construction, nice herbal scent as it breaks up. Aroma is refined but the after-taste is a little too sharp.

Buzz: Quite powerful but easier-on-the-throat than other varieties. A fun buzz with medium-heavy body effects – very nice blend for intense yet mellow high.

Price: 10 euros for 1 gram

Summary: If you’re looking for a powerful but civilized smoke, White Dolphin will take to the peaks without completely thrashing your throat.

P.S. Try the Northern Lights from the The Dolphins if you’re looking for uncontrolled power, super skunky stoney-ness, and maximum lung expansion – you’ll be majorily stoned from hit one but be forewarned it’s not an easy smoke by any means! (that explains why there’s no photo!)

Hokkaido Haze

Strain/Brand: Hokkaido Haze

Origin: Indoor, bio, hybrid indica + haze + local Hokkaido Butter (sativa)

Impression: Very skunky, crispy, fluffed out bud structure – highest compliments to the grower and trimmer, lovely work. Rich deep greens, amber reds, little teeny-tiny white crystalline structures with calyxes bursting at the seams.

Buzz: Tastes like a haze, you won’t get tired of this slightly skunky but more fresh herbal and savory on the tongue. There’s a definite stoney-ness to this buzz but your head’s having a fine time too.

Price: 4100 yen per gram

Summary: Best ever in Tokyo, hands down. The indoor green revolution is here, right now. Very, very illegal here so keep your head down.

L.A. Confidential

Strain/Brand: L.A. Confidential, The Bush Doctor

Origin: Indica, definitely indica

Impression: Skunk! Smells like skunk, feels like skunk, smokes like skunk, stoned like a skunk. Boy, this bud takes me all the way back to Los Angeles in the 1980s when true indica, sinsemilla, skunk showed up.

Buzz: Very strong, potent smoke. “I’m ripped” from the first hit. Halfway through, my mouth is slack, brain is numbed, but I’m giggling. My body is stoned and yet I can hear construction workers telling fart jokes more than a kilometer away. Big-assed white swans swim in the canal below, as sea gulls fly by at eye level sunlight glinting off their sharp steely eyes.

Price: 30 euros for 2 grams

Summary: hard to find, a big expensive but definitely worth seeking out if you want “da skunk” … brings back memories, then washes them away with a blast of indica power.

Favorite Coffeeshop: Barney’s Lounge

Barney’s Lounge is a quite a hike from the Amsterdam Central area where most visitors hang out. But Bob the Bud Guy not only knew his stuff, he took great pride in his products and his advice. Fantastic selection, outstanding quality, and great branding – the little stickers have the brand names on them (it’s easy to forget what you bought!).

Very modern layout, vaporizers at every table, flat screen TVs, cool jazz, not crowded at 10 a.m. (duh) when it opened. Two regulars popped in while I was drooling over the bud selection – and they both smiled and said, “definitely try the Laughing Buddha!”

That’s probably why I stocked up on Laughing Buddha, Crimea Blue, Nepali Temple Ball (hash), and Blue Cheese!

At The Bush Doctor, which is close by, I picked up some L.A. Confidential and Chocolope, which were excellent smokes but a different experience. The bud guy and bud girl clearly had a bit too strong of a morning smoke and were having difficulty sorting their merchandise, much less having a coherent conversation or make a recommendation. Prices were a bit more expensive but these strains/brands were the “hot” smokes at the moment. Shop was fairly small and looked a bit dingy. I was very happy with the smokes but wouldn’t necessarily go back there to hang out for smoke.

Hmm … I wonder if Barney’s needs a marketing guy?

Crimea Blue

Strain/Brand: Crimea Blue, Barney’s Lounge

Origin: indica + indica

Impression: that’s a single bud in the photo and Bob at Barney’s was cool enough to weigh the whole thing and let me take pictures – it weighed in at 14 grams (1/2 ounce)! Obviously, this is a fluffy yet solid bud, very hairy, sticky, skunky. It’s not exactly blue but spectacular with reds, greens, and white shiny crystals. Aroma is dense and full-bodied like a cheese strain but with a fresh green minty back tone.

Buzz: Woah, strong indica. Lay down on couch and join the stoner generation. Definitely a “night cap” smoke – this baby will lay you down nicely. Don’t operate heavy machinery or try to think deep thoughts on this bud. Just relax and go with the flow. Wax on, wax off, Daniel-san.

Price: 12 euro per gram

Summary: Bob at Barney’s was right again … when I asked for a “sleeper,” he just smiled and showed me the Crimea Blue. Serious smokers only – this stuff will couch-lock a sumo yokozuna. But if you like to be stoned and mellow, then this is a great way to get there!

Chocolope

Strain/Brand: Chocolope, The Bush Doctor

Impression: perfectly formed buds, the trichomes turn to powder with the slightest touch. This is the skunk of my youth – the whole room filled up with skunkiness. Sticky fingers while rolling the joint means a potent smoke is on the way!

Buzz: Heavy body stone from 1st hit … time is slowing down … sounds are getting farther away … away … away … is it me or are the candles looking really cool … is that a big-assed white swan on the canal …

Price: 30 euros for 2 grams

Summary: If you’re seeking the stone age, you’ll find it here. On the expensive side for the ‘dam but certainly delivers value.

Laughing Buddha

Strain/Brand: Laughing Buddha, Barney’s Lounge

Origin: Buddha Thai + Indica

Impression: Definitely a favorite … this is truly wake-up weed to go with your morning coffee. Perfect construction: the calyxes are covered with crystals, absolutely beautiful buds. Nice earthy scent with a skunk back note.

Buzz: If you aren’t buzzed, seriously buzzed, something is wrong with your brain chemistry! Very high yet vision is absolutely clear. This is truly the “smoke one for the road” as you’re getting ready to visit the Rembrandt Huis museum! You can do pretty much anything while buzzing around, feeling a bit giddy, but your body is perfectly normal and in control. Loving each other while flying with the Laughing Buddha is strongly encouraged – think world peace, brothers and sisters.

Summary: Absolute favorite, highly recommended “must-try” for beginners and seasoned smokers alike.

Amnesia Haze

Strain/Brand: Amnesia Haze, from The Rokerji

Origin: Sativa/Indica, heavy on the sativa, indoor.

Impression: Wow! Fluffy, skunky and funky like the old days! Red hairs, crystals glistening, skunk scent filled the room. Taste and aroma are overpowering – like columbian gold but with skunkiness?

Buzz: Two-second delay until your lungs expand … then you’re stoned and confused and buzzing at the same time. Very clear mental high at first, then sedated, heavily sedated.  Wow, this is not for beginners.

Price: 12 euros per gram

Summary: As advertised, the “haze” strains combine the up buzz/high of sativa, with a body stone from indica, but with the added intent of enhancing the flavor and aroma of the smoke. Loved the buzz but the flavor was really wicked – need a nice heavy Leffe beer to accompany this flavor-packed bud.

Benchmark Bud: Asakusa Thunder God

Strain/Brand: Asakusa Thunder God

Origin: Tokyo, Indoor, Hydroponic, indica/sativa/happa hybrid

Impression: Beautiful three-inch buds, with immense clusters of red hairs. Dense structure with very few leaves – tightly trimmed like the beard of a young stud on santa monica blvd. late night in Hollywood. Fresh green scent out of the bag but with distinctive back-aroma of unagi being grilled on the hibachi during a slow humid Tokyo summer.

Buzz: Hits different people in different ways. You might find yourself suddenly intuiting the true nature of life … or just giggling while trying to remember what you were going to say … or content to just watch those other stoned guys while locked onto the couch. One friend shaved his head and became a monk.

Price: Expensive at US$40 a gram and that’s only when you buy 20 grams. 

Summary: Great buds by any standard, just very expensive and very illegal.

P.S. Can’t wait to see what Amsterdam is like now … it’s been at least 10 years since my last visit.